On the Outside
A Poem About What It Feels Like to Have Borderline Personality Disorder
By Ashley Nestler, MSW
On the Outside
I am Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen
On the Outside
They Say I’m Calm
I Can Do Anything
Nothing Can Be Wrong
On the Outside
They Cannot See
My Scars and Tears
That Lurk Inside of Me
On the Outside
I Have It All
You Can’t See My Illness
Or How I Feel Small
But Inside
I’m at War
Fighting Tooth and Nail
A Constant Chore
You Can’t See My Struggle
Because I Don’t Let You In
Sometimes I Lose
Sometimes I Win
Each Day’s A Battle
I Fight In My Mind
I Fight for My Life
I Don’t Know How to Unwind
But On the Outside
I am Still Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen
Great work, I can cope with it.
I like it how it is ended like a circle because it’s always the same. We’re vacuous outside while we’ve got a void inside with full of shoulds, woulds and coulds.
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Thank you so much for your reply! I appreciate your insight on the concept of the circle. It is a cycle, and it is so exhausting.
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