On the Outside
A Poem About What It Feels Like to Have Borderline Personality Disorder
By Ashley Nestler, MSW
On the Outside
I am Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen
On the Outside
They Say I’m Calm
I Can Do Anything
Nothing Can Be Wrong
On the Outside
They Cannot See
My Scars and Tears
That Lurk Inside of Me
On the Outside
I Have It All
You Can’t See My Illness
Or How I Feel Small
But Inside
I’m at War
Fighting Tooth and Nail
A Constant Chore
You Can’t See My Struggle
Because I Don’t Let You In
Sometimes I Lose
Sometimes I Win
Each Day’s A Battle
I Fight In My Mind
I Fight for My Life
I Don’t Know How to Unwind
But On the Outside
I am Still Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen
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Published by Ashley Nestler, MSW
Ashley Nestler, MSW is a survivor of Schizoaffective Disorder, Quiet Borderline Personality, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, multiple eating disorders, and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ashley has dedicated her life to educating others on mental health and illness, as well as providing online resources for those who may experience barriers when seeking help for mental illness.
She is also the author of "Beautiful Nightmare", "Into The Fog", and "Behind Broken Glass Walls". Her short stories and horror poems have been published in various anthologies. She is an educator on writing and loves to help authors through her book critiques and reviews.
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Great work, I can cope with it.
I like it how it is ended like a circle because it’s always the same. We’re vaucous outside while we’ve got a void inside with full of shoulds, woulds and coulds.
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Great work, I can cope with it.
I like it how it is ended like a circle because it’s always the same. We’re vacuous outside while we’ve got a void inside with full of shoulds, woulds and coulds.
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Thank you so much for your reply! I appreciate your insight on the concept of the circle. It is a cycle, and it is so exhausting.
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