On the Outside – A Poem About Borderline Personality Disorder

On the Outside

A Poem About What It Feels Like to Have Borderline Personality Disorder

By Ashley Nestler, MSW

On the Outside
I am Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen

On the Outside
They Say I’m Calm
I Can Do Anything
Nothing Can Be Wrong

On the Outside
They Cannot See
My Scars and Tears
That Lurk Inside of Me

On the Outside
I Have It All
You Can’t See My Illness
Or How I Feel Small

But Inside
I’m at War
Fighting Tooth and Nail
A Constant Chore

You Can’t See My Struggle
Because I Don’t Let You In
Sometimes I Lose
Sometimes I Win

Each Day’s A Battle
I Fight In My Mind
I Fight for My Life
I Don’t Know How to Unwind

But On the Outside
I am Still Serene
I’m Put Together
I Can’t Be Seen

Published by Ashley Nestler, MSW

Ashley Nestler, MSW is a survivor of Major Depressive Disorder, Quiet Borderline Personality, Bulimia Nervosa, and Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Ashley has dedicated her life to educating others on mental health and illness, as well as providing online resources for those who may experience barriers when seeking help for mental illness. She is also the author of "Beautiful Nightmare", "Into The Fog", and "Behind Broken Glass Walls". Her short stories and horror poems have been published in various anthologies. She is an educator on writing and loves to help authors through her book critiques and reviews.

2 thoughts on “On the Outside – A Poem About Borderline Personality Disorder

  1. Great work, I can cope with it.
    I like it how it is ended like a circle because it’s always the same. We’re vacuous outside while we’ve got a void inside with full of shoulds, woulds and coulds.

    Liked by 1 person

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